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| Photo by Perry Grone on Unsplash |
There were no historical references on since when the Left hand started wiping asses and the Right hand started feeding the hungry mouths. However in the past few years there has been a growing dissent from the Left on this. Hence somebody decided that it is better to call for an all-hands meeting involving everybody, to have an impartial discussion on the simmering problems at hand. The agenda was set to simply discuss, debate and vote on who gets to take up what roles for the better future of everybody. Both the Left and the Right knew always that it is for a given that one cannot function without the other and even if they try to do that it would result in almost everybody getting affected for the worse
The discussion finally began with the Left citing various reasons from superstitious beliefs to religious dogmas that has resulted in the current situation of almost everybody choosing the Left to wipe their asses and the Right to feed their mouths. While it looked quite convincing and plausible for an argument sake, somebody brought out the point to the fore that it's not a matter of belief but based on the point of strength and confidence to get the respective hand-jobs done that has made people to be so. The Left said that there needs to be a clear referendum to decide on this matter. Almost everybody were initially skeptical on the idea of a referendum for something as trivial as this. But then the Left refused to work thereafter while the Right remained unfazed and eventually the environment became quite stinky.
Everybody agreed on the inevitable need of the hour and the date was set for the all-hands referendum. The referendum was to decide on whether the Left or the Right gets the majority of votes from everybody and the one that wins the majority would feed the mouths and the other gets to wipe the asses clean.
The referendum was a month away and until result was to be announced the status quo (of the Left wiping the asses and the Right feeding the mouths) was to be maintained. The election campaign started with the Right highlighting about what more they could do apart from feeding the mouths while the Left campaigned about why they are rightfully (ironically yes) entitled to do the feeding job. As the deadline neared for the referendum, the Left completely deserted their job and focussed only on winning the referendum. Eventually everybody started to suffer and it was the Right that came to the rescue and ensured that they did what was Left as well.
The D-day arrived with both the groups quite confident about the prospects of winning, with the exit polls showing a tight race. As the counting of votes started, the swing was quite evidently building in favour of the Right. The final results were a shell shocker to the Left as almost everybody preferred the continuation of status quo with the Left's support base (pun unintended) literally decimated. The Left began to blame the wrongs with the Right in the fair conduct of the referendum until it dawned upon them that nobody was listening. Right was given the job of what's rightfully theirs while the Left was left with the option of all that was only left.
Everybody agreed on the inevitable need of the hour and the date was set for the all-hands referendum. The referendum was to decide on whether the Left or the Right gets the majority of votes from everybody and the one that wins the majority would feed the mouths and the other gets to wipe the asses clean.
The referendum was a month away and until result was to be announced the status quo (of the Left wiping the asses and the Right feeding the mouths) was to be maintained. The election campaign started with the Right highlighting about what more they could do apart from feeding the mouths while the Left campaigned about why they are rightfully (ironically yes) entitled to do the feeding job. As the deadline neared for the referendum, the Left completely deserted their job and focussed only on winning the referendum. Eventually everybody started to suffer and it was the Right that came to the rescue and ensured that they did what was Left as well.
The D-day arrived with both the groups quite confident about the prospects of winning, with the exit polls showing a tight race. As the counting of votes started, the swing was quite evidently building in favour of the Right. The final results were a shell shocker to the Left as almost everybody preferred the continuation of status quo with the Left's support base (pun unintended) literally decimated. The Left began to blame the wrongs with the Right in the fair conduct of the referendum until it dawned upon them that nobody was listening. Right was given the job of what's rightfully theirs while the Left was left with the option of all that was only left.
