Thursday, October 20, 2011

World Headlines in 2060 - World #1

"A guy finds his dad via Google search in 30 seconds"

"What The Guy did in 30 seconds was truly a spectacular feat and I am sure there aren't many in this world who could do that these days"- Google CEO

         In a dramatic event that unfolded at the 30th World's Toughest Quiz, The Guy (he wanted to withhold his name and preferred to be called The Guy) in his early 30s won the coveted "Challenger of the Year" with a prize purse of $100000. In the annual event organized by Google across the globe, the contestants are confined to a room where they have access to any and all latest gadgets and technologies.  They can get to choose any mode of finding the answer and just one thumb rule is that they cannot ask any other human, by any means. The final hurdle set this time was "How quick can you correctly say who your dad is?".  There were 47 finalists this year and apparently this question was rated tougher than last years question of "How fast can you say 'I am a dumb ass', 50 times?" The Guy was able to complete the challenge in just 30 seconds and walk away with the title. 

        When asked about his experience at the final round he said "I knew I was too good with Google, Google+, Facebook etc but then when this question was put forth to me, I went totally blank. It was something which I haven't thought about in my entire life and hence it took some precious 15 to 20 seconds of searching, to narrow down on who my mom was and then the remaining time was used in stalking her profile narrowing down to my dad.  Luckily my dad looked like me, else I would have lost on the contest. My heart goes out to the determined two who're still trying to figure out the answer, 4 hours into the contest."

     As the rules of this contest states there is no time boundary and either one has to find the answer or accept defeat and give up. With 19 people having found the answers at varied time intervals and the rest having given up, these two are becoming examples of perseverance and determination by showing the world that any information can be found by searching online and one's brain does not have any necessity to be up there and be 'used'.  Meanwhile unconfirmed sources say that 'The Guy' is all set to feature on this year's TIME's cover earning him the title "The Brightest Dimwit of 2060".   

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Top Five Ways To Eradicate Poverty In India

      Wikipedia defines Poverty as "The state of one who lacks a certain amount of material possessions or money"Its been 60+ years now since India has been attached with this tag of being a poverty ridden Independent Country. Its high time this situation is addressed once and for all. Being 'a responsible citizen' of this nation its my duty to put my best foot forward in marching towards eradicating poverty. The following is my Panchsheel which would 'eradicate' poverty. 

  • Calling Representatives - An easy and age old way is first to identify the poverty ridden regions and then its representatives. Call them for a meeting and buy them out one by one and if you can completely appease the entire section and bring them to your side, the problem is solved and these representatives would take care that no more in future someone would raise a voice telling there are poor and suffering people.  
  • FDI Strategy - Identify the poorest village, take away land from the locals. Give it at throwaway leases to MNCs across industrial verticals to invest and setup industries, which in turn makes the real estate boom, land value increase, Malls come up and the locals can be inducted into the workforce and boom, the village becomes rich in spending and lifestyle.
  • Mass Movement - Take a census of the approximate number of people who're poor, clear up a State (that borders with another country) and move all the poor people to this state. Reach out to TRS party's Chandrashekar Reddy's book of "Creation of New State for DUMMIES". Else use the existing states like Jammu & Kashmir or Arunachal Pradesh and once the migration of all the poor people is complete, disown the state and give them  to Pakistan or China respectively, which would solve the border issues as well make India free of poverty.
  • Media Bluff - Buy out any and all forms of Media (for this cause as well) and make them propagate to  the world to believe that India is a poverty free country and most importantly close all gaps to prevent the International Media from finding the truth. I think 'The Namesake Gandhi' family has pioneered in this feat and just that they have to extend their support and knowledge for this cause too.
  • Rajapakse's Guide  - If none of the previous ones works out in eradicating poor, fly to Sri Lanka and talk to Mahindra Rajapakse. Remember this is the Brahmaastra, so use it only when all others fail. He will guide everyone who seeks his help on 'How to commit mass murders of innocent people with compelling evidence and still hold the head high with a sense of achievement'.

       Each of the above policies is a novel approach which may be suffice to achieve the goal as a stand-alone. However if doesn't work out that way, its wise to use combinations of all of these and make our country 'a better place' to live in. After all one need to eradicate the cause (poor people) in order for the effect (poverty) to cease to exist.
OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets
Visit to discover Indian blogs Blog Directory