Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Jayalalitha's CODE of Governance

    The following is the code of conduct that Jayalalitha have been following since ADMK government came to power, a few months ago. The code is in a very abstract format with each of its functions being delegated, compiled and executed independently and reported back to you know whom.

#include "DMDK.h"
#include "Communist_Parties.h"

float alliance_with_Congress;
float alliance_with_BJP;
float aligning_to_third_front;

void ADMK_random(one parameter);

void Jaya_tv() {

    ADMK_random (report_scams);

int main () {

   for ( int month=1; month<=60; month++) {  
            for(int week=1; week<=4; week++) {
                       for(int day=1; day<=7; day++) { 
                       } //End of a day


            } //End of a week


   }//End of a month

return government;

void ADMK_random(one parameter) {

    *  Proprietary code, not for public access

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Mumbai Triple Blasts, a treat to Ajmal on his B'day?

          As investigators and government agencies are accounting the triple blasts that rocked Mumbai yesterday (13th July, 2011), it seem to have a surprising motive behind it, sources reveal. One, this blast having happened on the B'day of Ajmal Kasab and two being the following story.

          Owing to his recent feeling of loneliness, Ajmal Kasab divulged his intent of wanting a roommate to the ATS and Mumbai Police, from his Arthur Road Jail residence. Further inquiring into this we got hold of a copy of hand written request from Kasab via an anonymous source. The hand-written sheet was in broken hindi and it took us a day to translate it into readable English format, thanks to Google Transliterate. Following is the order that Kasab apparently handed over to his residence security chiefs and pressed on for a quick resolution to his concern, from them.

"Hello Security Chief,

  As you might be aware, its so boring here at my house and off all the things this idleness and lonliness is killing me for the past two plus years. I cannot take it anymore and I've decided that I need a roommate ASAP. Here are the set of qualities I want to see in my roommate, so that you people don't bring in any Tom, Dick and Harry as a prospective roommate.

  1. I would want someone who has achieved something in terrorism if not phenomenal to the extent of what I did but at least some legacy in terrorism or done something in the recent past.
  2. The person should not be well known as I do not want to lose the limelight that I possess, in the process of taking him in as my roommate. 
  3. See I am from a "spot, shoot and kill" form of terror background and hence I do not want someone from a similar background and would be happy if he's from other forms say like hijacking or bomb planting, biological warfare etc so that I could discuss and get to learn of his domain from his experience and expertise.
  4. He should not be some old guy or with medical complications, cos come on man I don't want a roommate who would die in another two years but want one who would live along for years to come and enjoy the luxury provided.
  5. I would prefer an Indian or unaccepted Pakistani like me as a roommate, if not there might be chances for my roommate to be extradited in the name of investigations and I would come to square one again.
  6. Also what's more important is that, my prospective roommates should be clearly briefed that I have the upper hand with respect to taking decisions being here at my Arthur Road Jail residence, cos he should know and always remember that he's seeking shelter in the palace which I originally built.
Your Lord,

   It seems the document had ten commandments and Kasab did not want the last four points to be "leaked" to the news media so that the prospective roommates don't get "prepared" just to become his roommate. Another revelation from the anonymous source was that the ATS had this abridged version faxed to all terrorist producing agencies so as to address the genuine concern of Kasab at the earliest.

  After the sensational triple blast that happened yesterday, the agencies like ATS, CBI, NSG & NIA are leaving no stones unturned in finding out the ones behind these blasts in-spite of the really bad weather prevailing in and around Mumbai. They are speculating on the fronts whether these blasts, which were ironically and coincidentally carried out on Kasab's birthday, was an attempt to make Kasab notice and probably pick a roommate from the perpetrators of this. Lets wait and watch as there are lots more to unfold in the weeks to come...
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