Roller Coaster

He was world renowned for 

One - his expertise on rating the roller-coasters, for its craziness.

Two - having not given perfect 10 ratings to anything, till date.

On his tour to India, 

at a press meet he announced

"I've found the perfect 10 rating roller-coaster finally"

"and it is"

"The Indian Auto"

Lift

It was around midnight,

A lone guy was waving his hand for a lift.

I came to a halt, few meters past him.

He walked up-to me and hopped on and said

"Just keep driving, will tell you where!!!"

"Where exactly?", I questioned.

"Where are you going?" he asked, pressing his hand on my thigh.

Hypnotized

She walked like an angel from infinity towards me.

Her lips and eyes gleaming with perfect outlines.

The closer she came, my heart began to skip a few beats.

I whistled a rhyme, loud enough for a few eye to eye glances.

She extended her tender hands towards me and said

"One - Stella Maris College"

The Great Indian Business!!!

     Pulling off a deal these days are no more "talk, impress and win over" sorts. With the advent of internet and exposure of it to wide range of people happening at a terrific pace, business with the ones across the globe has become something  like what everyone is doing these days. Hence with the evolution of the competitive market there has been principles defined and reference models setup. According to those, every business has its own stages from start to finish as a life cycle. 

Identifying the requirement

• The needs are perfectly charted out.
• The expectations of what all is required is set.
• The add on features (if any required) are also outlined.

Advertising the needs

• Though there are possibilities of potential local suppliers, it is very much essential to showcase our need in any form of advertisements, for a wider reach and quality offers.
• The quality of the ads must also be crisp, clear and concise, explaining the intent.

Short-listing the possible suppliers

• With the perfect execution of the previous two phases, one can be sure of getting a lot of quotations from diverse locations.
• The short-listing of the ones should be carried out carefully having in mind the Cap-Ex and Op-Ex.
• It is no surprise that these days the reputation of the supplier is very important and maybe their history can be verified for it.

Negotiating the Service Level Agreements (SLAs)

• Once having identified the supplier, the terms and conditions are put forth by either parties.
• The possibilities of how best can be supplied and how far it meets the expectation is sorted out.

Striking a deal

• When a consensus is reached, the contract is formulated between the customer and the supplier i.e  in technical terms the "SLA" is framed.
• The deal is struck with the provisional or whole-sum release of funds (as per the SLA) with the deadline for delivery being set.

Support and maintenance

• Usually the suppliers offer the support and maintenance which many a time is  negotiated as a part of the initial supply deal itself.
• Or sometimes the customer opts for a deal later, based on the working and performance of the product.

We Indians vary geographically and economically as well as in language, culture, habits, heritage  however the above is what is followed in the traditional

"Indian Arranged Marriage"

by giving unique names to each of the processes stated above and abiding by ones respective culture and tradition.

PS: This does not purport that all arranged  marriages are this way.

PPS: Any resemblance to the way  a marriage that has happened or about to happen you know is purely a coincidence and unintentional.


PPPS: Love marriages too are taking cues from these, nowadays.

Anything more to PR beyond talking?

                  Three things that are most commonly associated with Public Relations are phone, e-mails and newspapers. Most people either don't understand what PR is all about (and that constitutes 90% of the professionals who need it to support and grow their respective companies). The other 5% (include family/ friends and people you randomly meet) who no matter how much you try to explain derive this conclusion that it is one cool job where all you need to do is talk on the phone! and remaining 5% who understand the know-how of PR are rare finds, alas!

           So the following is to clarify that those working in a BPO or a call centre are paid for talking on the phone. While in this profession it is just one of the tools to communicate with clients/media/internally just like in any other business.

            PR is one service that no professional company can ignore and why should it be limited to businesses. Personal PR is given as much importance now days. A statistic say, in a month a PR company gets at least 3-4 requests from individuals who want to take on this service to boost their image. Basically everyone from a company like TATA to a Pizza Corner or an NGO, from Bill Gates to a Kathak dancer need PR for brand building and to talk to the world.

          I know, doing PR for Bill Gates probably sounds like a cake walk and a wow project to work on. Almost everyone may say yes. Though it is comparatively easy but to walk on the cake you need to bake it and for baking that perfect cake you need to get ingredients in the right proportion.

         PR is a profession for thinkers! It needs people who can think, analyze, conceptualize, identify the respective target audience develop strategies; make a POA to achieve the set targets. and mind you no two clients even if they belong to the same industry will have the same strategy. It requires patience in abundance and most importantly it is a 24X7 profession, especially if you work with a hospital client. If the hospital gets an accident victim or a VIP patient one needs to be on site even at 5 am to execute the crisis management process.

       A PR desk gets about 15 newspapers every day and about 20 magazines a month. For a PR professional reading them all (if time permits, else there are dedicated people to do this part of the job alone) is step one. It helps to identify how to place the clients, which story can be plugged where so on and so forth. Oh yes, most of the stories you read in the paper are thanks to people like us!

         Clients think PR is like magic which will boost up their sales or enhance image in a day and that is a constant fight factor for us! Because PR is a sustained effort that supports the advertising and marketing efforts of a company. Ironically this is one of the most under-mined/rated services but highly valued and required at the same time. Costs are negligible in comparison to the huge advertisement budgets and involve much more hard work. For an advt. there is a fixed cost for which you buy space in a newspaper or on a channel.While we put out the same message without paying a penny to anyone and the art is in packaging it perfectly!

          Though unfortunately there are no set standards in the industry to measure the worth of PR but it is said that a story via PR carries 5 times more value than an advertisement. The credibility attached to it is higher as it is a third person endorsing your message.

        Some feel PR has a high glam quotient attached to it. Yes, there are these stuff like, to dine at fancy restaurants and stay at 5-star hotels but then there are no free lunches :). The 'G' factor is hardly an attraction.What keeps us going is to see our stories reaching out to the masses, just like hitting the bull's eye!

        All of this is just the tip the iceberg of what a PR profession is all about. Just because what one notices most is that the PR people talk it doesn't really mean that's all they can do...!


PS: This is a guest post and the views expressed are solely from the mouth of it's author

Adam and Eve - At the fashion show

   In the lines of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and Why Men don't listen and Women can't read maps, the following is a stereo-type conversation between the genders.

The Act


         Adam and Eve are at a fashion show and towards the end, the best pair of the show walk down the ramp.


The Reaction

Eve - Oh my god...(Looking at the girl with eyes glued and wide open). Did you look at those olive tops with those beige spots she's wearing. It's so lovely. Well...is it just me or that skirt of hers made of leather is too sleazy, may be that's why she's a model, who knows. What is so abnormal is her hair style. She should have done the split curls to compliment her skirt, instead. Don't you think that tops if in maroon would suit me well?

Adam - (Without turning towards Eve)....yeah I guess so. 

His mind voice - Wow...what a girl, she'z hot..!!!

Eve - (Turning on the focus to the guy and observes till he exits...) Isn't he cute?? The way he carried himself, his dressing, hairstyle and everything... I think he's way better than the girl with whom he walked with, don't you think?

Adam - (Turning at Eve with a surprised look...) Who?!?..what...which guy?

               

The day I was SPAced out

                  It was perfect weekend with me got to do nothing as such and almost my first half of the day went on with watching back to back episodes of Friends. I just then remembered that it's been a week since I felt that I badly needed a haircut. I reached the place where I was getting it done, off late and a guy right away took me to a chair as if he was indeed waiting for me. In my usual routine manner I asked this guy to KISS (Keep It Short and Spiked) and he nodded in affirmation and dressed me up for it. Because of the dryness of the hair the comb was getting stuck to the hair and he "analysed" and suggested that the hair was in a bad state and need a SPA treatment badly. With absolutely no idea of what the hell this SPA thing was I did not bother to show interest on it. He just went on to trim my hair in the manner I had mentioned earlier and he was almost done doing it and started off again with the same SPA stuff and also the discounts that is offered there for that blah blah stuff. I just started to listen to it and for a moment I was carried away in the trance and I blurted those magic words "Sure, lets try it". 

          The sombre looking hair-cut guy till then, suddenly sprang to life with some new energy and started treating me like as if I own that place and like I'm welcome to do anything. I remembered my BPO work days where I used to pitch-in to the customers about various products without even bothered of whether they were interested or listening to me and ONLY help the customers out with their issues with all the extra care and concern  the moment they agree to buy a product. Today I felt like I've been a victim to taste my own medicine, on a different ball game though. I asked the guy to do shave job as well and he was ready with the stuff for that in a jiffy and was done with doing that in a few minutes.

        I was then asked to be ready for the hair wash and the SPA following it. I was all curious on what the hell that is gonna be as well as what good will it do to my "dry" hair. I was led into another inner private room and I was all covered up with just the head outside the cover and he brought an urn of some pale green gel, which just looked like Brylcreem. He then applied it all over my hair and also buried some of it between the hair, onto the scalp and left it dry for sometime. I was caught off-guard totally when suddenly he started punching my spine started from the neck. I could not comprehend his intention and then he said it's a part of the SPA massage. I felt the punches were nowhere close to massaging and I started having the feel of why the hell am I paying someone, to hit me by the way. I didn't know for what reason but he asked me to keep my eyes closed, probably he wanted me to actually "feel" the brutal massage I was subjected to, in a better way with my eyes closed. With some more of spine and shoulder punching, and a few times of a possible hand ripping attempts, he called it done and moved onto to my green-gelled hair.

       With another 10 mins of scalp scratching and his way of head massaging, I was left alone for a few minutes to recoup and get back to senses. He then dragged something over and covered my head. It looked like a head scanner, which was a typical machine that could be found at any hair salons. Right from my childhood days I had noticed it being kept unused in a corner of every salon I had been to, based on which I've had my share of sci-fi fantasies. The few mins of the head scanner part was, where the gel spread over my head started melting out. Finally to my relief, I had my head washed out and dried and the thought Never again...never again kept reverberating in my mind. I came back to my normal senses and zap came the bill which was nonetheless a loud slap.

         With no words exchanged, I handed over the money with a "This is bloody daylight mugging man" look and the cashier accepted it unperturbedly and returned the change with a glance that clearly had the sub titles "That's Natural(s)!!!"